The Sibling Prep Playbook

— Section one

What's actually going on underneath

Most older siblings — especially under five — are still working out where they fit. The new baby has taken time, attention, and the lap that used to be theirs. The morning of the session can magnify all of that: cameras, fuss, a baby being adored.

Going in with this in mind changes everything. We're not asking them to perform. We're inviting them to be the big sibling for a morning, and gently photographing that.

— Section two

What to tell them, the day before

• —Tell them they have a job. 'You're the big sibling — your job is to help baby feel safe.' Children rise to a clear job.
• —Tell them about Aline. 'She's lovely and quiet. She'll take photos of all of us together.' Familiarity beats surprise.
• —Tell them the plan. 'We'll do photos for a little while, then Grandma will take you home for lunch.' A clear end is a kindness.
• —Don't oversell it. Avoid 'It'll be so fun!' Children sense pressure. 'It will be a quiet morning' is enough.

— Section three

Their job on set

I give every older sibling one or two simple, real jobs. Children love being useful.

• —Hand the wrap. Pass the soft cream wrap to me when we're ready.
• —Choose the bonnet. Two bonnets on the bench — they choose which one baby wears.
• —Show baby the toy. Hold a small wooden toy near baby and 'introduce' it.
• —A gentle kiss. When they're ready — never on cue.

— Section four

Bribes that aren't really bribes

• —A new little book. Brought 'because it's a special day', read between shots.
• —A small snack tin. Plain crackers, blueberries, things that don't stain.
• —Sticker reward. One sticker per gentle moment with baby. Children love this.
• —Choosing the after-treat. 'When we finish, you can choose where we get a babyccino.' A small pull forward.

— Section five

Scripts for hard moments

If they say 'I don't want to': 'That's okay. Come sit next to me — you don't have to hold baby. Just be near.'

If they're rough with the baby: Without alarm — 'Soft hands, sweetheart. Show me how gentle you can be.' Then immediately praise the gentleness.

If they refuse to look at the camera: We don't ask twice. The best sibling images are them looking at baby, not us. We work with what they give us.

If they melt down completely: We stop. Take them out for a walk around the block with the other parent. Come back in ten minutes. Almost always works.

— Section six

What to bring for them

• —A familiar small toy
• —A non-staining snack and water bottle
• —A new little book or activity
• —A spare outfit in case of spills
• —Their favourite teddy for one quiet photo with baby
• —A partner or grandparent ready to take them home at 45 minutes

— Section seven

After the session

Make a small fuss of them when you get home. A 'thank you for being such a beautiful big sibling' goes a long way. If you can, frame the print of just them with baby and put it on their wall. They will look at it for years.